Distorted Glitter

 

Sunday, February 26, 2006
wad a bloody week. let's see what happened

1. screwed my mep auditions. coz i only touched chopin for 2/3 hours =\ aiya i deserve that anyway. but then i was thinking what if they send me to a chamber group and not solo? ha! that'll be nice. or....if i dun get in, doubt i'll get disappointed. =) coz i have lotsa things to dooooo....wanna dieeee....

2. chamber group in chorale! 1st prac on sat. omg i will have a 9 to 5 chorale sessions every sat!!! yikes. and in between i need to go for guzheng lesson! ugh. *bangs head on wall* now my sat is officially gone~ =\ but the chamber group was quite cool. wonder how it'll progress. it's kinda hard though...

3. shit. my compo! my piano! oh yes. i had a terrible nightmare of fanglaoshi. and it's damn freaky. really. somemore she called just now! *shudders* huimin you are such a failure. you are a master of none. you lost your piano. your studies aren't going anywhere. you're gonna fail your gp common test man. your compo and your practical will also fail if this goes on.

BUT THERE'S REALLY NO TIME FOR ME TO DO EVERYTHING!? WHY IS IT SO UNFAIR!! I BARELY HAVE ENOUGH SLEEP TO DO THE THINGS EFFICIENTLY. WHY! ARGH!! WHO THE HELL SETS 24 HOURS A DAY!? WHO THE HELL SETS 7 DAYS A WEEK!? WHY CAN"T I HAVE 3 DAYS OF WEEKENDS SO THAT I CAN AT LEAST REST PEACEFULLY!? WHY! I AM ALREADY ZOMBIFIED SINCE LAST YEAR. I CAN PREDICT MY JC LIFE IS SO FUCKING SCREWED. UGH.

*breathes in* *breathes out*

i dunno what to do with myself really. i cant see my future. =(

All the feelings I last month recurred. I seriously think its official. Maybe this is how things are meant to be..for me to be...different. And there's nothing wrong with that right? I have decided to ask ______ out. there's nothing wrong right? after reading www.lesbian.com and www.thetaskforce.org, i'm more convinced than ever this is the route I'm meant to take...


bashed +++ 10:56 PM